Happy New Year!

"For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning."

- T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

First Smiles and Snowflakes

i only looked for a second,
it all seemed so clear...
the clouds parted,
a flock of birds approached in the distance.
and then the sun came out.
a smile.

all in an instant the feelings came back.
a crisp wind blew out of the north,
the smell of frozen leaves in the air...
the touch of old man winter on my shoulder.
it's just the beginning i think.
a half smile.

fun and boredom wrapped in one flake,
dancing their way downward.
stretching its gaze to a place far below...
they finally lay to rest.
good morning son...
it's a winter wonderland.

"Highs and Lows" - Dad's Perspective

What began as a typical fall day in north eastern Iowa on a beautiful college campus, ended in the greatest day of my life. This is of course the day Jake arrived. It all started when I got a call from our friend Becca who had arrived at the hospital with Andrea, for what seemed to be a routine check-up. As I walked to the parking lot leaving the school, Becca informs me that Andrea was just told by doctors that she is 5 cm dilated and that she would definitely be delivering the baby today. I calmly asked how Andrea was doing knowing instantly that I might miss the birth of my firstborn child. O boy. I continued towards my rental car, which turned into a full out sprint and sped out of town as fast as I could. 20 minutes later Becca calls again saying Andrea’s 7 cm dilated and the baby is breech (butt first). Knowing that most breech babies are bound for a c-section, I began to panic. “How long till it happens?”, still pretending to be relaxed knowing there may have to be an emergency c-section. Becca replies that the doctors aren’t sure, but they said probably within the next few hours or so. The next few hours or so!? And then it really hit me… I really wasn’t going to make it back to Chicago in time for the delivery since I still had another 4.5 hours to go. Pedal to the medal…

Meanwhile, I can hear Andrea screaming in the background with excruciating detail. “Can I talk to my wife?”. Andrea gets on the phone and starts crying saying “I’m sorry babe, I’m so sorry, I just couldn’t wait.” As if this is Andrea’s fault. So not only am I probably not going to make it for the birth, my wife is clearly on the brink of passing out from the pain and undoubtedly still in shock from the wave of info coming from the doctors. Becca chimes in, “doctor is back… gotta go… call you back soon, I promise”. Awesome. At this point I am driving over 90 MPH and nearly reaching 100 as I try and call my best man Schoeny (lives in Chicago) but despite 4 calls in a row he doesn’t pick up. Great. I call Becca back and she tells me that since the baby is so small (5 pounds they estimated) they are going to try and deliver vaginally and not have a c-section if possible. Also, Becca explains, they will need to perform the birth in the operating room in case an emergency c-section is required. Oh ya, and it’s too late for the epidural so baby is coming naturally. Perfect.

As if the guilt of not being there wasn’t bad enough, I now had to grapple with the fact that Andrea was experiencing the most severe pain in her life, and there was nothing I or the doctors could do about it (except hold Becca’s hand). I told Becca I needed to try and call Schoeny and I tried again but nada. I then called my sister Emily – the proud and awesome parent of two beautiful children herself. “Hi Em, Ang is at the hospital and she’s about to have our baby”. Em proceeds to freak out realizing the severity of the situation. Deep breathe. I kept telling myself, Becca is there, no worries and remained hopeful about not having to do the c-section “ a c-section is last resort” I yelled into the speaker phone at the doctors.

It was outside of Madison, WI when I was able to hear the final pushes. Becca had me on speaker phone most of time so I was able to hear the coming and goings of doctors, nurses, and contractions (reminder, no pain meds for Ang). Every 2 minutes or so I would encourage Andrea to “push, push, push, push” and “breathe… you’re doing great babe! BREATHE”. And then … I’d get cut off and lose cell phone reception. Sweet. Are you f’n kidding me? Maybe it was because I was in the middle of nowhere, or that I was driving too fast to get cell reception, this happened at least 3 times. Why is this happening? Whyyy. I finally get through at long last and can hear Andrea pushing the loudest yet… “last push”, doctor says. By the sound of things, I knew this was it. How can this be happening right now? I slowed down (to about 90) and listened to every last yell and encouragement from Becca and the doctors… and finally… I hear the cry. At the next moment I hear the words, “It’s a boy”. I continue to slow down to a complete stop and breakdown with tears of happiness. Andrea gets the phone and as they bring him over to her she exclaims, “and he’s actually cute” expecting to see a wrinkled raisin face like Lyndon B. Johnson. The shock of what had just happened over a 3 hour time span and the sheer uncertainty of everything was so overwhelming. Simply incredible. I cried like a baby myself for about 10 minutes after pulling off the side of the road.

My words cannot describe the feeling when the moment occurred. The guilt of not being there, the pride in my wife for doing such an amazing job. But most of all, it was the highest of highs I have ever experienced. Yet at the same time, it was the lowest of the lows to miss this most monumental day for Andrea and I. After gathering myself, I pulled back onto the highway with reduced haste. I missed it. Not how we had planned it. In fact, we had asked our doctor recently, “about how long do we have generally speaking when she goes into labor?” Our doc replied, “I’d say 6 hours or so” and then she whispered to me, “more like 10” with a quick smile and poke in Andrea’s arm. In Andrea’s Birth Story post, she talks about how she was most likely in labor for days. Crazy.

When I finally got to the outskirts of Chicago, I noticed that traffic was building up. This is perfect. I had made such great time from Iowa to Chicago that I made it back just in time for rush hour traffic. You have got to be kidding me. 5:45pm grid lock on a Thursday. Another 2 painstaking hours later I entered room 411 to see Andrea, Becca and Emily (Becca’s twin sister) there to greet me. I put the flowers down and walked over to my wife. You did it babe. We did it. I love you. We then went to go see Jacob Nicholas so I could hold him for the first time. Amazing. It’s so cliché I know, but it was the most surreal day ever. I know these highs and lows will continue each day, each month and each year. I can only hope to be there for every milestone and bump in the road.

My Birth Story - by Andrea Berends

September 12, 2011
It was Monday at work when I started to feel a little off. My stomach felt very tight- like a Braxton Hicks that lasted way too long. I wasn’t in pain, but uncomfortable. I thought it was just gas so I bought some Gas-X.

My discomfort did not, however, stop me from arranging a group of friends to go to the Wild Goose to lend me moral support while the Patriots pummeled my Dolphins. Although the Dolphins were losing big time, that was not the reason I left at halftime. I started to feel extremely uncomfortable. I went home, put my pj’s on, took two Gas-X and went to bed.

September 13, 2011
Tuesday morning I pretty much felt the same way. The only difference is later that night I started to get some back pain. I talked to my mom and she told me to call my doctor. So I did- and she told me to take two Tylenol, but if the pain persists to go to the hospital. I did as the doctor ordered and popped two Tylenol and the pain subsided some, so I went to bed.

McPherson Elementary, Chicago Public Schools




September 14, 2011
Woke up Wednesday with cramps. The pain wasn’t constant, therefore, tolerable, so I went to work. As the day progressed, the cramps got worse. I talked to several friends who have been through pregnancy to get their advice about how I was feeling. My friend Michelle suggested I call my doctor. This time she said I should probably go to the hospital considering this was the second day I was calling, she said just to be on the safe side.

Well, I have a high threshold for pain, so I decided to go to lunch and see if I could make it through the work day. I got to the teacher’s lounge and started eating lunch with my friend Becca. That’s when it got worse. I couldn’t sit, stand, walk, or lay down- it all hurt! This is when Becca went downstairs and told my principal that she needed to take me to the hospital. My principal came up to my room and said take only what you need- you’re going to the hospital right now.

Did I mention Lou was in Iowa?! So at this point I thought I was going to the hospital to talk to a doctor, they would reassure me everything was fine and send me home. So while sitting in the waiting room, I texted Lou: Don’t want to alarm you, but left school and am at the hospital… been having sharp pains all day. This was at 1:05 pm.

I was brought to a room with Becca at my side by 1:15 pm. The doctor comes in and gives me an ultrasound to see what’s going on. I remember thinking- how cool… Becca’s going to see the baby and hear the heartbeat (well who knew she was going to see A LOT more of me than that in the 3 hours to follow). The doctor examines the baby and examines me and says your baby is breech (butt first) and by the way… you’re 5 cm dilated. So you’re telling me I’m having this baby today?! Holy Crap! Apparently those cramps were actually contractions. Good to know!

Becca calls Lou- who immediately gets in his rental car and starts speeding home. The only problem- he’s 5 hours away, at best. Lou’s story to be continued later…
The doctor comes back and asks me two questions: do you want an epidural? Which I immediately say ”YES!” since the contractions were so brutal (even though my original plan was to go without). But the only stipulation was that I would have to wait 30-45 minutes for the ONLY anesthesiologist on duty to get out of a C-Section happening at the same time. Second question: Do you want to deliver this baby vaginally or through a C-Section? Although the baby was breech (butt first), “it” was small enough to birth naturally. So, I went with the former and prayed that I could do this without having a C-Section…

The doctor leaves and it’s just Becca and I in the room. Panic sets in- Am I seriously having this baby right now!?

15 minutes later, after I talk to my mom and brother who are both trying to calm me down, my water breaks! Like Niagara Falls, like a dam breaking, like a giant hose all over the bed and rushing down the sides. I then proceeded to try to hide it for Becca’s sake, but there was no hiding it! I guess at this point I couldn’t be embarrassed about anything since apparently this baby was coming today. Becca runs and tells the doctor my water broke, and he tells me it’s too late for an epidural. They rush me to the operating room just in case they have to do an emergency C-Section. Yikes.

The contractions are getting pretty bad, but they won’t let me push until my doctor arrives. Where the hell is my doctor!! And while this is all going on, Becca has Lou on speaker. He’s trying to calm me down, and telling me to do my yoga breathing. All that practicing was completely forgotten- F the yoga breathing… all I wanted to do was get this baby out!

The doctor finally arrives and I start pushing. Becca’s holding my hand through the whole ordeal while Lou is screaming Breathe, Breathe!! About 10 pushes later, at 4:08 pm our beautiful baby boy, Jacob Nicholas was born- 4 lbs 7 oz and 17 ¾ inches in length. To top it all off, I had a heart shaped placenta, which is considered rare and the doctor made sure to show me (if you’re curious about this, I have a picture!).

Overall, it was a crazy 3 hours! Although I wished Lou could have been there with me and to witness the birth of his first child, he was able to hear the whole thing and even better, hear his son cry for the first time. Becca was definitely my angel- and I couldn’t have done it without her! She will for sure be my “doula” for the next one (if that’s ok with you, Becca).

Becca Rosenbaum, AKA, "doula"
















After 2 weeks in the Special Care Unit, Jake is home and mommy and daddy are adjusting well to our new lives. Lou is on paternity leave through November so we’re happy to have this time together with our newly formed family.

Much Love, Ang, Lou, and Jake XOXO

Happy 4 week birthday Jacob

Introducing Jacob Nicholas, September 14th 2011

4 pounds 7 ounces, 17 and 3/4 inches

On 9/14/2011, Jacob Nicholas Berends was born. He was 7 weeks early and took us by surprise to say the least. We've created this blog so our family and friends can follow us by checking out photos, videos and narrative of our new journey with little Jake. Mom and baby are doing amazing and dad is on paternity leave through November.

We're so happy (and exhausted) with the new arrival and thank you for all your love and support.

Indian Summer in Chitown!

- The Berends family